The Other Way
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING: slash][RLSB][MWPP era][ONESHOT][SongFic] Love for Weezer! This story follows a song from the band 'Weezer', too. Remus muses about his infatuation on Sirius and how he'll probably never admit it to him. Unhappy ending.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the band'_Weezer_', along with their song, '_The Other Way_'.

AN: So, guess what? It's my first songfic, YAY!! Let's all cheer for Weezer's: The Other Way song!! Woot! It really fits to Remus' personality, try and see!

The Other Way 

Remus had fallen in love with his best friend a long time ago – perhaps two or more years ago, but he still hadn't gotten used to it.

He hadn't gotten used to not touching Sirius – to resisting the urge to just lean in and kiss him – to get jealous as the girls that threw themselves at his feet – to just grab his face and –

"Remus? Are you coming to bed?" James asked, picking up his cloak and halfway up the dormitory stairs.

"Oh – um, no, I think I'll read for a little bit more."

But Remus _never_ could read anymore – it was too distracting, thinking about what he _could_ be doing with Sirius right now – and for once he wanted to slam his book down and agree with James and Sirius that reading was quite a waste of time.

And right now, he _wanted_ to sleep and forget about everything, the flames crackling in the fire were giving him a headache, the fumes dancing around his head as he read the same line over and over again…

But then again, there were a lot of things he wanted to do but never could because of his lack of bravery.

_I want to help you  
But I don't know how  
I want to soothe you  
But I can't speak out  
I have many fears  
About rejection  
I have many memories of pain  
I have always been a bit too shy  
So I'll turn and look the other way_

He wanted to help Sirius, to calm him down when he was angry of upset, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He had so many fears of being rejected… that kept fresh in his mind from his dreams.

But maybe he was just sure that if he told Sirius, he would either panic and disagree, or reject him because – as much as his friend tried to drill it out of his head – he was a vicious and bloodthirsty monster.

And he had always been shy, too shy, to ask Sirius _anything_ these days – ranging from asking him to join him in the next Hogsmeade visit and asking to borrow a quill. He just had to turn around and focus his mind on someone else._  
_  
_Other way  
Other way  
I will turn and look the other way_

But it was too hard for Remus to focus on anybody else when he didn't only _like_ Sirius, he _loved_ Sirius, and he would only ever return his feelings in his occasional good dream. Only in dreams, did he hold Sirius and Sirius would hold him back with equal depths of feelings.

_I want to hold you  
But I am afraid  
I want to touch you  
But I'm not that way  
I have many doubts about my motives  
I have many fears about my breed  
I have always hurt the one that I love  
So I'll turn and look the other way_

He wanted to hold him so badly when he shivered, or almost cried, or when he was scared, but he was too afraid, he was too afraid to tell him, and he never was planning on doing it at all.

Remus had too many doubts, the rejection in his past life, the things his parents had told him: _Don't tell anyone Remus about your secret… Don't show anyone your scars, Remus… Don't tell anyone you're a monster inside, Remus…_ And even if his own parents knew and though he was a monster, so did everyone else, and were just too afraid to tell him. He was too fretful about hurting anybody, or being hurt because of the regretful past of his – he would give up part of his intellect to get past the 'monster' part in his brain.

And it hurt to look at Sirius, knowing he thought the same things, so he would just have to one day turn away and look the other way.

_Other way  
Other way  
I will turn and look the other way_

But nobody could ever convince Remus to stop loving Sirius, since he had fallen too much to climb back out again. Everyday, his emotions rising, his eyes close to tears, about to stream down his face in frustration, because he loved his best friend – and that never turned out well. _  
_  
_I have many doubts about my motives  
I have many fears about my breed  
I have always hurt the one that I love  
So I'll turn and look the other way_

Nobody could take Sirius' place. Not James or Peter, or any women. He felt secretly happy when he could see his face and see him smile. But it kept him loving him at the same time – something Remus tried to fight everyday. And nothing could get out of his head: that he _wanted _Sirius, and that he _needed _Sirius yet that he would never ever return that in a non-friend way.

He didn't even know if Sirius would believe him if he told him. And that would be too painful to watch – since he already felt the pain Sirius felt whenever he was hurting himself.

_Other way  
Other way  
I will turn and look the other way  
Other way  
Other way  
I will turn and look the other way  
Other way  
Other way  
I will turn and look the other way  
Other way  
Other way  
Other way  
Other way. _

Remus shut his book wearily, rubbing his eyes in tiredness, and surprised to find tears on his face. He was too afraid, the only thing he could do was stand up, and seeing Sirius' sleeping form, he leant forward and brushed the hair away from his forehead, mumbling:

"I love you, Sirius." And he started moving swiftly away, oblivious to the soft whisper of Sirius answering him.

"I love you, too, Moony."

Looks like Remus turned to look the other way too soon. 

_AN:_ Hi ya guys, just to say, I posted this before, but I've made a few changes. Besides, basically NO ONE reviewed...  
Love,  
JULIA :D ;O :P (R&R please!)


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